What does God say about living in a sexless marriage, and is marriage without sex mentioned in the bible at all?
God actually spoke about sexless marriage in the bible, because he knows that it is an issue that will plague the marriage institution.
A sexless marriage is a union of two people in a marriage without sexual intercourse.
That is no more news, because in the United States, a 2009 research once showed that about 15 percent of married couples don’t have sex for months.
This is leading to many problems, which as a result has been making some young people to see marriage as an unnecessary burden, or to avoid it altogether.
What Does God Say About Living In A Sexless Marriage (The Real Truth)
The major bible verse that addresses the issue of marriage without sex is 1 Corinthians 7:5.
What this bible verse is saying is very clear. God does not support a sexless marriage.
When married couples distant themselves from each other, they open the door for the devil.
Even when you are a child of God, and you are living a holy life, your flesh will still crave for satisfaction.
One of the major things your flesh will ask for from time to time is sex.
Normally, you are to resist the urge to have sex uncontrollably. Everything you give to your body has to be done with moderation.
This is necessary, even when you are at liberty to have it.
Apostle Paul said;
This is the reason why it is not justified at all to engage in sex with anyone you are not married to.
God frowns at it. It is utterly sinful.
God does not support living in a no-sex marriage, he only allows separation for a short period of time, just for the reason given in 1 Corinthians 7:5.
This is to enable either of the married couple to focus on seeking the face of God when necessary.
It has to be with the consent of the other partner who is not going to be involved in the fasting and prayers.
Your Body Is The Temple Of The Holy Ghost
That is a truth you have to grasp fully if you don’t want to face the wrath of God for abusing your body.
When you are living a no-sex marriage life you are abusing your body.
You are starving the body of the necessary physical nourishment God has ordained for it.
This is the reason why God gave you sexual organs.
You are to use them within the limit of what God allows, and to the glory of his name.
Failure to do this amount to flagrant disobedience, and God will not take that lightly.
God encourages married couples to have sex.
Normally sex is sweet, it brings a kind of exhilarating experiences that want to make you have it all the time.
That explains why so many people are lusting for it, in spite of the risks of diseases and other health challenges having sex with multiple partners hold.
If that is the case, why would married couples refrain from sex, when they have the legal backing, and God’s approval to do so.
Why Do Marriages Become Sexless?
- Experiences from the past.
When one of the partners experienced sexual abuse, or witnessed one when growing up, it can make such an individual have hatred or fear for sex.
This is the situation for many people who have been abused or raped.
In most cases they have no one to confide in, and the whole thing continued for years, most of the time with someone in the family, or someone very close.
When the abuse finally stops, the wound created in the heart will remain.
The victim will continue to see sex as a tool of exploitation, and not for pleasure, or satisfaction.
That will make such a partner to avoid sex at all cost, and without having the confidence to fully open up to her partner.
- Wrong perception about sex.
Many young people have been taught that sex is evil and dirty as they are growing up.
Unfortunately, after they become adults, they find it difficult to shake off this wrong perception.
This may come from the angle of religious beliefs, or just from parents who are trying to instill good morals in their children.
This is the reason why proper sex education is good, and why parents must take it upon themselves to teach their children the right things about sex.
- Wrong perception about self.
Some people living in sexless marriages don’t have confidence in themselves.
They may see themselves as someone who cannot satisfy their partners on bed.
This is the lot of people who have given themselves to pornographic videos, and have filled their minds with all kinds of impossible sexual acts, believing them to be true.
Some of them believe they need organ enlargement, or special drugs that will make them last for hours during sexual acts.
They will keep avoiding sex to save themselves from embarrassment.
What does God say about living in a sexless marriage caused by self inflicted errors like this?
Such an individual must have a change of heart, a complete turn around from anything creating the wrong mental picture of sex, into the reality of truth and freedom, which is in what God has proclaimed in his word.
- Extra marital affair.
When someone is having sex outside his or her marriage, such an individual may not have appetite for sex with his or her married partner anymore.
Extra marital affairs can happen due to many peculiar reasons, but it is not justified at all, as it destroys marriages.
On the other hand, going through a no-sex marriage is one factor that can encourage extra marital affairs.
- Sexual perversion.
Sexual perversions can make someone loose interest in normal sex.
A married partner who is a lesbian for example may not be able to cope with normal sex.
This will happen when the other partner does not understand, nor have interest in the kind of sexual acts the former is demanding.
Sexual perverts are not easily satisfied in sexual acts, because they have a totally different views of sex.
They will rather avoid it altogether, until they find someone that agrees with them.
- Undue attention to other things.
This can be good things like careers, or even trying to meet family needs.
It could be thinking about prevailing family challenges, to the point that one would lose interest in any other thing that require his or her attention.
In such cases, the person involved will not respond to any move coming from his or her partner.
This will eventually make the partner to be frustrated, and might lead to seeking to get satisfaction elsewhere.
- Addiction.
Addiction to drugs, alcohol, or any other substance can make someone lose interest in sex.
In some cases, even addiction to good things can be a problem in this area.
For those that are victims, they have taken the satisfaction they can get from food, drinks, and chemical substances as the ultimate satisfaction their bodies need.
What does God say about living in a sexless marriage for those that are abusing their bodies this way?
6 Reasons Why God Condemns Living In A Sexless Marriage
- It gives room for sin.
Sexual desires in man has to be satisfied somehow.
God knows this, and he made the right provision for it in marriage.
Anyone who would not follow that is looking for trouble.
This is because the devil is after the marriage institution, he is ready to use any avenue to attack marriages.
One of such ways he can use is the issue of sex.
When people are sex starved, they look for alternative means to satisfy themselves.
Many married people are suffering in silence, they are only waiting for the right opportunity to present itself, for them to give actions to their thought.
God is not happy about this, because it is against his will.
As much as it is sinful to abuse sex, it is also sinful for married couples to deprive themselves of it.
- It frustrates joy in marriage.
Intimacy as ordained by God, is not only for the purpose of procreation.
It is to make a married couple to become one.
It is meant to fuse them together, and bring out joy that will make their marriage be heaven on earth.
You will realize in Genesis 4:1 that immediately Adam and Eve left the Garden, they came together in sexual union.
That is meant to restore there joy, and to make them forget the events of the past, in order to carry on with their lives.
In spite of what they have done, God blessed that union, and the result was their first born, Cain.
The joy that comes from this type of union is pure, and long lasting.
It does not hold any fear or suspicion, as it is always the case in an extra marital affair.
When married couples opt for marriage without sex, they rob themselves of this joy, and they cannot get it any other way.
- It is selfish.
Sexless marriage is selfish, because often, it is one of the married partners that usually initiate, or hold on to it.
The other partner will have to reluctantly tag along to make peace to reign, and keep the marriage from possible collapse.
This is totally selfish, as the first partner does not consider the need of the other.
It is against what God said, that they should not deprive each other on the platform of personal interest.
When you deprive your partner this way, what do you expect her to do?
You open her up for all kinds of thoughts and evil suggestions, which have very devastating consequences on both of you.
- It is outright disobedience to God’s command.
Intimacy is not man’s creation but God’s.
He commanded it, and expects us to obey.
When married couples come together, and decide that they will not have sex together, they are outrightly disobeying God.
Sex in marriage is the only means to prevent sexual sins, and yet populate the earth as God has mandated us.
The case of Onan the son of Judah in the book of Genesis 38:8-10, comes to mind here.
God killed him because he is deliberately preventing what God has allowed, that is, for a man to raise children for his late brother through his widow.
Cases of no-sex marriage can be liken to that.
- It is against nature.
Marriage without sex is totally abnormal, and cannot provide a truely happy union.
Even in cases of living-in partners, where we have couples who are not married living together, they cannot do without having sex.
How much more when two legally married people are living together.
It makes many things to be wrong in that particular relationship, and no matter what other things they may have, they cannot enjoy the marriage.
- It make marriage unattractive.
Sex is one of the things that happen in marriage that makes it sweet.
It is one of the things the young people are looking forward to doing when they get married.
The idea of marriage without sex can make this people not to desire to go into marriage.
This is because, no-sex marriage means they are tied to a partner that will not allow them to enjoy sex for life, and they are not allowed to seek relief and satisfaction elsewhere.
They would rather prefer to be single, and get as many sexual partners as they like, to avoid such an experience.
In all, considering what does God say about living in a sexless marriage, we will realize that God does not want it at all.
Whatever has happened between a married couple that leads to no-sex situation should be looked into.
The solution is not to do away with sex completely.
The source of the problem needs to be unearthed, and dealt with, so that true joy can begin to manifest upon the marriage.
My husband and I have been married less than 2 years. We struggled with sexual lust before being married, but right after being married he completely lost interest in sex. I am tired of initiating sex just to be rejected. He’s had a problem with p*** in the past but swears he doesn’t indulge in it anymore. I have begged and cried and told him how worthless I feel, but nothing changes. Our marriage has been sexless almost from the beginning. He knew that sex is very important to me in a marriage. I don’t know what else to do, as he refuses to get any help. I’m considering just sleeping in the spare room at this point.
My sister, what you have just posted here is what is happening in many marriages, unfortunately people cannot come out to say it the way it is.
It is a pity that your husband does not see reason with you. Please do not relent in your effort to make him do something about the situation. Look for a counselor who can enlighten the two of you the more over the matter. Sexless marriage is a terrible experience, and one of the major home breaker today, but there is solution.
You need to take an urgent approach to the matter because your situation has prepared the ground for extra marital affair which you must never indulge in.
I want to believe the two of you are Christians. Please take the matter to God in pray, sexless marriage is a great burden that is difficult to carry in marriage. Save yourself and save your marriage.
God bless you.
My wife and I are in a similar situation. We were both baptized last December and became Christian.we study the Bible and seek god’s guidance. However I have seen that celibacy in a marriage is ok and sex although it’s given by God it is not the “ item” that binds us as a couple. It’s not as important as “ society “ makes it out to be . Pure love has no physical value but more from your soul as it is a choice. I chose to love her in spite of all her problems and her with me.Sex is not a bond or binder . You can be fully intimate with out sex or the demands it can create . Great conversations override the “ physical “ parts of marriages
People who withhold sex in marriage without good reason make God’s word empty . It is like God promising something that does not materialize.
It’s his choice
Definitely! As should then be her choice to divorce him for marital neglect.
My wife and I have been married for 44 years. Sex has never been a priority for her even in our earlier years. I was always the one to initiate. Many times then and now she would/will just say “not tonight” or I’m just too tired. Even when we have sex now she doesn’t put alot of effort into the intimacy. We hardly ever kiss or hug. And when we do she thinks I’m trying to initiate sex. She says she loves me, but sometimes it feels very hollow. Here of late we’ve had some pretty bad arguments about it. She said I’m not having sex every night. Well I’m not expecting it every night, but I don’t think a couple times per week is unreasonable. This is really having an effect on me mentally and physically. But I don’t want her to be intimate with me just for my gratification. I want so much to please her too! I am not a worthless husband. I always help around home and try to treat her well. When the kids were at home I always helped with them and was a good father. My wife and children are all Christians and that is reflective in their lives today. But I don’t know how much longer I can go like this!
Hi
I’m 69 and been retired for several years . My wife of 46 years is 68 and still working. She commutes 120 miles most days. She’s had 2 knee replacements so I have been nurse-maid for quite some time. Since before that time, it’s been all about her. I’m there for support and help her get going in the morning and do a lot around the house. We’ve had no sex for 17 years as she pulls the “medical” card. Seems very happy to live a celibate life and forcing one on me, too. She thinks sex is only for pregnancy otherwise it’s a messy nuisance performed out of duty. From your comments, I believe we are living in sin and not receiving God’s blessings. Sadly, I am resigned to living the rest of my life with my roommate wife in a dead bedroom….hopeless, joyless…
The Bible does comment on the spouses having the right to deny each other. It says don t deny what God has ordained one for the other (sex). It also is vocal about a wife not withholding from the husband and the husband is commanded to die for his wife if the situation merits that sacrifice.
God did not say any of His commands would be easy or fun. He said His commands are not optional.
God offers help to those who will trust and obey.
The Christian family and the Christian Church must take a stand for righteousness. A good place to begin your search is The Democrat’s Platform and The Republican Platform. Each lists what their party principles are.
Ask yourself if the platform you favor would pass muster with Almighyy God.
Here is my confession… I was married for 23 years, and the last seven years were loveless, and completely sexless. I was rejected over and over and essentially forced into celibacy. There was also emotional abuse happening and I literally became mentally ill, depressed, anxiety ridden and emotionally reactive. The environment in my home was toxic and horrible. As a Christian, I struggled with the question of divorce for years. So I stayed. We tried counseling and he was not invested in the process. I was desperate for attention and affection and gave into temptation and sexual sin and had an affair. And I am so ashamed! I am grateful for this biblical commentary because though adultery is not condoned, I have gained some peace to understand why I fell into sexual sin. I did finally leave my husband and it has left a wake of destruction. Hurting my family and destroying my relationship with my children. Please please please seek help if you are withholding sex from your spouse for any reason.
Many couples endure this unfortunately. Love is wonderful and intimacy helps bind that closer. It’s a glue that helps hold it. I as a woman feel I need that special touch or kiss or even rub or pat. I do know intimacy is not a daily thing as we grow older but yet it is many ways one can show affection otherwise. When you have been without affection for a very long time you become accustomed to it. Prayer helps tremendously I know. Sometimes illness takes in affect I know but another of times its pure laziness or excuses for many. My thoughts are if you claim to love someone so much then why aren’t you putting your very all into it? Why aren’t you putting everything God wants you to do for it if your serving God also. Why be married if you cannot follow the rules? The GODLY laws and rules. Two are joined together to submit to one another. Pornography, and chats, and social media has ruined so much for the true marriage. Marriage needs to get back to the word and abide. God will not allow the wrongs to win in the end. He always has the final say. So we must rise up and take hold of our marriages and pray over them and ask for unions of two. Defeat Satan……. The word of God never changes and people need to read the word fully before getting married and understand there is no more just I…….