Sexless marriage after 60 may not be an interesting topic many aging people want to talk about.
At that age how many couples still care about sex? Surely there numbers will be negligible when compared to their younger counterparts,
That does not mean that sex should be a closed chapter in the cycle of 60 years and above.
We must seek to know God’s mind concerning it just like any other issue that concern our marriages, and strive to obey it.
To start with, marriage without sex is never God’s idea. It is a doctrine from the pit of hell targeted at homes of married couples especially Christians so that they cannot fully benefit from their marital unions.
Emotional intimacy in marriage is one of the major reasons why God said it is not good for man to be alone.
He purposely created a woman to fill the gap and to provide the necessary companionship for Adam.
The older a couple becomes, the stronger this romantic friendship should be since they have vowed at the altar on the wedding day that they will continue to care for each other untill death separates them.
Age apart, many older couples are not enjoying their marriages. Some of them have been living in a no-sex marriage, but they don’t know where to turn to and salvage the situation.
Many parents cannot guide their children right when it comes to the issue of sex. They are afraid and confused because of the wrong way our society.has portrayed sex.
It is time to start seeing things God’s way. Time to know the exact things God said about sex in marriage and how we are to approach it.
Many people have questioned why God allowed sex. They asked why did God gives us sexual organs and desires? They argued that the earth would have been a better place without them.
Come to think of it. Our world is groaning under heavy loads of ungodly sexual practices and perversions. Those who cannot directly get involved resort to pornography and other self gratifying sexual evils. Even the young and the innocents are not spared.
Can we blame God for this. Should we say that we are where we are today because of what God gave to us? The answer is no.
God had never intend evil for man. From the.beginning He had shown that He loved us and that we occupy very special place in His eternal plan.
First He created us in His likeness and after His image. No other creature was given such a privilege, but man only.
In addition to that He put all things He created on earth under the authority and control of man. The Psalmist was appalled at how God can be so generous that he exclaimed “what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”
He went on to say,
“You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet:” psalm 8:4-6.
How can God honours mankind so much, and at the same time gives him ,organs, and desires that will destroy Him.
Anyone who sees God in this light is totally ignorant of the attributes of God and His purpose for creating man. The Bible says His thought towards us is of peace and not of evil.
His wisdom is far beyond comprehension, with it He created and sustains the entire universe.
Moreover, after He.finished all the work of creation in Genesis 1:31. He stood aside and took a good look at His handiwork. His final verdict was “everything was very good.’
That includes man and all what He created with him, and when God declares something good, then that thing is good indeed.
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The Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Sexless Marriage After 60
In later years, the absence of intimacy in marriage can significantly affects relationships between couples. If they have not been close together at younger age, how can they be now that the hormones and other body build ups that needs to enhance intimacy are no more active.
Marriage beyond physical intimacy becomes more crucial as couples age and face the challenges of growing older together. Aging couples often grapple with the complexities of maintaining intimacy in later life because they feel that such things are no more important for them.
There is no where in the Bible where it was stated that aged couples should stop enjoying intimacy with each other at a particular age. Even in a marriage vow, couples affirmed before God that they will love and care for each other till death do them part.
One thing we must know is that intimacy in later years goes beyond physical aspects, encompassing emotional connections and companionship. This is the main reason why God instituted marriage.
God said “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make help meet for him.” Genesis 2:8. Many people cannot see sex beyond the physical level which only involve satisfying the flesh. This is what some people call enjoyment or pleasure. The same reason why they crave for it outside marriage.
But sex as intended by God is entirely different from that. It is not a means if satisfying the flesh. It is not only meant for procreation, and it is not meant to be abused by any means.
We must know that our body is the temple of God. That means our body is meant to be kept holy. The only place in the Bible where Jesus got visibly angry with people was when he saw them desecrating the temple by turning it into a place of merchandise instead of a place for prayer.
Jesus could not tolerate seeing the house of God being desecrated. He looked for a whip and chased the people out of the temple with their wares.
If Jesus had such zeal for a physical building how much more for our body which has been created after the image of God.
Our body is not meant to be used for sex. We are not animals that look for mates during heat period, and wherever they see, they copulate there.
We are humans for crying out loud!
Those who see sex as a tool to settle scores will never enjoy it. They will grow up with a negative mindset about it and that affects them till old age.
Another truth is that we can not know the real value of sex outside Christ. Sex was corrupted after Adam and Eve fell in the garden of Eden. Before then, they were enjoying true intimacy. They also had the privilege of fellowshipping with God.
The reason why Adam could not find a suitable mate among the animals when God brought them before him was because he was seeing those animals with a heart of purity. He never saw them as creatures he can have sex with.
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Spiritual and Emotional Factors that Affect Sexless Marriage After 60
Aging couples and sexless relationships highlight the challenges of maintaining a fulfilling partnership as one ages. There is nothing that aging people crave more than companionship. The reason why many of them finds it difficult to live a normal life if they happen to loose their spouses.
Understanding relationship dynamics in later life is essential for addressing the issues related to the lack of physical intimacy in elderly couples. Relationship’s are not built at old age, but develops as couples grow together.
It grows on love, and trust that couples have for each other as they live together and discover more about themselves. Sex is one of those things that strengthens this relationship.
As humans our bodies will crave for sex, but we must know how to respond to that within God’s regulations and desires. The Bible says we should mortify the desires of the flesh, meaning that we need to have control over our desires (Romans 8:13).
When a woman knows that her husband truly loves her, and that he keeps his body only for her, and also respect her wishes, and seek her satisfaction on bed, she will look forward to sex, and willingly surrenders her body to her husband whenever the need arise.
When couples have this understanding early in marriage and grows up with that, they will build a solid foundation for their marriages that will not only help them to overcome all sexual temptations, but to channel sex in the right appropriate manner that will please God, and makes their homes like heaven on earth.
The lack of physical relationship in elderly couples can lead to feelings of isolation and dissatisfaction in their relationship. This is reason why couples should be fully open to each other. They should seek to care and know everything about each other.
Know that whatever secret you keep from your spouse is a door through which the devil can gain entrance into your marriage or your life. Also when a spouse begins to notice a change in their partners life such a spouse should point it out so that it can be discussed.
Assumptions, and lack of communication have destroyed many marriages. They are enemies that must be avoided at all cost.
The effects of sexless marriage on elderly couples can lead to a decline in overall well-being and happiness. It can also affect your relationship with God and others around you. When the Bible says a man would join himself to his wife and the two of them will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), what the Bible is referring to is a permanent joint, and in all areas of life.
Navigating sexuality after 60 requires open communication and adaptability to ensure a healthy and satisfying intimate life. You should know that the person you are married to owns your body, just as you own his or hers. The Bible says we should not defraud ourselves except when we want to fast and wait upon God in prayers.
We are also told to come together again after the fast and continue the intimacy. Sex should no be used as food. It is not all feelings and desires that must result in sex. We should have power over our feelings and not the other way round.
Physical and Psychological Factors that Can Cause a Lack of Desire
The only reasonable situation when couples may not be able to have sexual intimacy is when either of them have health challenges that may make sex impossible.
Some identified conditions are; cardiovascular issues, hormonal changes, arthritis and joint pain, neurological disorders, menopause and vaginal dryness,
prostate issues, depression and anxiety, and fatigue.
When issues like these come up sex may be temporarily impossible, or it may be a total no go area for the couple concerned.
In that case an intimacy-starved marriage after 60 may necessitate couples to seek counseling or explore alternative ways to connect emotionally.
Nothing is wrong with seeking counselling from experienced Christians counsellors. They can help you spiritually, pray with you, and guide you in a godly way on how best to approach the matter.
It is not.time to listen to friends, neighbors, or any close associate to divorce, or cheat on your partner. You should be able to identify with him or her in that health challenge, and create a general atmosphere of joy in your home.
In a asexual marriage after 60, couples may find fulfillment in shared interests and companionship rather than physical intimacy. That is also another way of promoting joy and peace in the marriage. As long as the couple have agreed together, and they both respect that.
It is important for aging couples so seek new areas of interests that can bring them closer together. The more they found more areas of common interest the stronger their marriage will be. What is important is making sure what they seek aligns with God’s will and purpose for their lives.
For some, a celibate marriage after 60 provides a unique bond centered on friendship and mutual understanding.
Steps for Renewing Intimacy in Sexless Marriage After 60
This topic is for all couples above 60 years, but not all of them can explore the sexual intimacy as discussed here. In that case they can turn to other areas of their lives, and encourages other things they can do to continue building up their relationship.
The following steps can be used to renew intimacy in a marriage
1. Embrace physical intimacy in addition to sexual intimacy. This is very important because intimacy is not all about sex, but companionship. Find time to always be together and talk together.
Some couples are more at home when they are with their neighbors or friends. Such people find it easier to share their secrets with strangers rather than their spouses who should be their best friend.
When you spend.more.time together know each other better. You help and correct each other, and work more on things that can work against your marriage.
2. Discuss physical and emotional needs as they change with age. There should be no secret between husbands and wives. They should always shear whatever secret they have between each other.
3. Rekindle passion and romance. This you can do by encouraging things that your spouse love. We all love being appreciated. We love being honored in public. This you must do often, and don’t hesitate to use the word “I love you.” That can work wonders in the in the life of your spouse.
Do not forget the divinely inspired Biblical injection: “Husband love your wife” and “wife submit to your husband.” Where couples obey this, true love and peace will reign.
4. Address potential issues such as erectile dysfunction and menopause. These are issues that can be treated medically, and in cases where they cannot, it is not the end of the world.
5. Seek spiritual guidance and prayer to deepen the marital bond. The spiritual controls the physical, hence God says we should pray without ceasing.
There is nothing happening in your marriage that is beyond the ability of God. Just as He restore the wine that got finished at the wedding of Cama of Galilee, He can restore fullness of joy to your home.
